Have We Forgotten Who a Child Really Is?

“The psychic being is the developing soul consciousness manifested for the created being as it evolves”

— Sri Aurobindo 

 

When a child is born, we ask, “Is it a boy or a girl?”  “Whom does the baby resemble?”  “What shall we name the child?”  “What will the child become one day?”  These questions are natural. They arise from love. Every family asks them. Every generation has asked them. But there is another question we may not ask very often.  Who is this child who has come to us?

We do not ask this question very often because we naturally see what is visible. We see a tiny body, a smiling face, little fingers wrapped around our own. We see the beginning of a new life. And of course, something wonderful has happened. A child has entered the world.

Sri Aurobindo and The Mother ask us to look a little deeper. They ask us to look beyond the body. Beyond the name. Beyond the family. Beyond everything that is immediately visible. They ask us to see that what has come into the world is more than a new body. A soul has arrived.

“There are great differences among our children. First there are those who have a living soul… We must help them to find it.”
— The Mother

This idea makes us look at a child in a different way. Modern life naturally understands birth as the beginning of life. Sri Aurobindo and The Mother ask us to widen that understanding. While the body begins at birth, the soul does not. The soul is already on a journey, and birth is another chapter. We may think of a child as part of our family, but the child is also a soul with a journey of its own. When we begin to see the child this way, parenthood changes. It becomes less about shaping a child according to our dreams and more about helping what is already within the child to unfold.

The Mother repeatedly reminded parents and teachers that every child carries something unique.

“Nothing can be taught to the mind which is not already concealed as potential knowledge in the unfolding soul of the creature.”
— Sri Aurobindo

Education, she said, is not about imposing from outside. It is about helping what is within to blossom naturally. This changes the atmosphere of the home. Instead of asking, “How can I make my child become what I want?” we can begin to ask, “How can I help this soul become what it has come here to be?”

Children grow best when they feel accepted for who they are. This does not mean that every desire is fulfilled. It means they are seen, heard and respected, and loved for who they are, not only for what they achieve.

In today's world, it is easy to measure children by marks, talents, achievements and comparisons. These things certainly have their place. But they can never define the whole child.  Behind the report card, the success or the struggle, there is still a soul growing through experience. Sometimes that growth may not even be visible to us.

Sri Aurobindo reminds us that evolution is not merely outward. It is an inner unfolding. Seen in this light, childhood itself becomes sacred. Every smile, every question, every difficulty and every discovery become part of that journey.  This understanding also brings humility to parenthood. No parent ever fully knows the mystery of the child entrusted to them. The child may one day teach the parents as much as the parents teach the child.

“To love truly is not to possess”

-The Mother

We begin to move from possession towards love, from control towards guidance, and from fear towards trust. Slowly parenthood itself becomes a journey of growth for everyone in the family.

“Each one's destiny is inevitably fulfilled, but the nearer one is to the Divine, the more this destiny assumes its divine qualities.”
— The Mother

 A Quiet Reflection

When we look at a child, we can remember that there is more to that little life than what we can see. The child has a body, a personality that will slowly develop, a family and a place in the world. But behind all this is a soul on its own journey.  We may not understand that journey or know where it will lead. We can give the child the space, love and care to grow into what is within.

 

Perhaps we have not forgotten how to love children.

Perhaps we need to remember who they truly are.

 

Next Reflection

Preparing Ourselves Before Preparing the Nursery

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