A Mother’s First Education (Preparing a mother before conception)

 “The education of a human being should begin at birth and continue throughout his life. Indeed, if we want this education to have its maximum result, it should begin even before birth; in this case it is the mother herself who proceeds with this education by means of a twofold action: first, upon herself for her own improvement, and secondly, upon the child whom she is forming physically.”

— The Mother

When we think about preparing for a child, we think about health, work, finances, a home and all the things that will have to change. These are necessary. But The Mother takes us to a preparation that begins much earlier and is much quieter. She asks the woman to look at herself.

Not at the child who has not yet come. Not at what the child will study or become. But at the state in which the mother herself is living. It makes us stop and think. Before conception, before there is even a body to care for, there is already something that can be prepared. So, the question for this reflection is a simple one:

What is happening within a mother before she brings a child into the world?

The Mother’s answer is not complicated. She speaks about the woman’s own improvement, her aspirations and will, her thoughts and feelings, and the atmosphere in which she lives. She is asking us to see that preparation for a child begins with the inner life of the woman herself.

True Maternity

The Mother uses the word maternity in a much deeper sense. For her, bringing a child into the world is not merely a biological act. It is a conscious responsibility.

“Maternity is considered as the principal role of woman. But this is true only so long as we understand what is meant by the word maternity. For to bring children into the world as rabbits do their young—instinctively, ignorantly, machine-like, that certainly cannot be called maternity! True maternity begins with the conscious creation of a being, with the willed shaping of a soul coming to develop and utilise a new body. The true domain of women is the spiritual. We forget it but too often.”

“To bear a child and construct his body almost subconsciously is not enough. The work really commences when, by the power of thought and will, we conceive and create a character capable of manifesting an ideal.”

These are strong words. They become clearer when we remember what we explored in The Soul’s Journey to Birth. The soul has its own journey. The parents cannot decide on that journey or control the deeper movement of the soul.  Then what can a mother do?

She can work upon herself. She can prepare herself for the new life that is to come. She can become more conscious of what she thinks, feels, desires and carries within her.

There is also something profound about the position Nature has given to a woman in maternity. During pregnancy, she is not only preparing to become a mother; she is carrying another life within her. No one else can take her place in this physical journey.

Today, we rightly recognise the mother and father as equal partners in raising a child. Yet, during pregnancy, the woman holds a very special position. She is carrying the child within her, and what she thinks, feels and aspires towards becomes part of the atmosphere in which the new life is growing.

This need not become a burden or a reason for guilt. It can instead help a woman recognise the power and responsibility that Nature has given her through maternity.

 A Mother’s First Education Begins With Herself

“For it is certain that the nature of the child to be born depends very much upon the mother who forms it, upon her aspiration and will as well as upon the material surroundings in which she lives. To see that her thoughts are always beautiful and pure, her feelings always noble and fine, her material surroundings as harmonious as possible and full of a great simplicity—this is the part of education which should apply to the mother herself.”

— The Mother

There is something very practical in these words. The Mother is not speaking only about meditation or special spiritual practices. She brings the preparation into ordinary life. What is filling the expecting mother’s mind every day? What kind of feelings are becoming habitual? What is the atmosphere around her? Is there peace in the home, or is there constant tension and agitation?  This does not mean that the one who is going to carry the new life must never feel tired, worried or unhappy. That would make the teaching impossible for ordinary human beings. The point is to become aware of what is happening within us and to gradually choose what we want to cultivate.  The one who is going to carry the new life does not have to become perfect before she can prepare consciously. She can begin where she is.

Aspiration — Not Control

The Mother also speaks of aspiration. She does not say that the woman can control everything about the child. She speaks of a conscious will towards a high ideal.

“And if she has in addition a conscious and definite will to form the child according to the highest ideal she can conceive, then the very best conditions will be realised so that the child can come into the world with his utmost potentialities.”

— The Mother

This makes us look at conception differently. It is not only a physical event. There can also be a conscious intention behind it. But this intention should not become a desire to manufacture a particular kind of child. We are not choosing the soul. We are not writing the child’s destiny.  We are asking ourselves what kind of consciousness we want to bring into the beginning of this new life.

“What is possible is that instead of doing the thing like an animal driven by instinct or desire ... they do it at will, with an aspiration, putting themselves in a state of aspiration and almost of prayer, so that the being they are going to form may be one fit to embody a soul which they can call down to incarnate in that form.”

— The Mother

This is a rare and demanding possibility, and we should not turn it into a promise or a formula. What matters for us is the attitude: moving from instinct and desire towards consciousness, aspiration and prayer.

A Mother’s First Education Is Already Happening

The preparation does not begin suddenly on the day of conception. The state of consciousness at that moment is something that has been forming in us over time.

A woman does not have to wait until she decides to have a child to begin becoming more conscious. She can begin by noticing her own thoughts, her reactions, her desires, her fears and the things that disturb her peace. She can begin to bring more order into her life. She can learn to make room for quiet. She can strengthen her aspiration.

This is not about creating a perfect mother. It is about creating a more conscious one.

The child is not the only one being prepared for a new life. The mother too is being prepared for a new stage of her own consciousness.

The child has a journey. The mother has a journey too. The two journeys meet at conception, and both continue from there.

The Moment of Conception

“Even as the state of consciousness of the last moments of life is of capital importance for the future of the one who is departing, so too the state of consciousness in which the parents are at the moment of conception gives a sort of stamp to the child, which it will reflect throughout its life.”

— The Mother

She goes further and speaks of the mood of the moment, the aspiration or degradation of that moment, and the consequences that can follow.  We should not read this as a reason for fear. Nor should a mother later blame herself for everything that happens to her child. That would be a very narrow reading of The Mother’s teaching.

Rather, it is an invitation to take the moment seriously.

If we are consciously preparing for a child, then the quality of our inner life matters. The preparation is not about anxiety and doing everything perfectly. It is about sincerity.

What Can The Woman Begin Today?

For the woman living today, these ideas can be brought into very simple daily practice. They do not require withdrawing from ordinary life.

·        make some quiet time each day, even if it is only a few minutes;

·        notice what thoughts she repeatedly allows to occupy her mind;

·        reduce unnecessary fear, agitation, gossip and disturbing influences where possible;

·        cultivate thoughts that are beautiful, constructive and peaceful;

·        take care of her body, sleep, food, movement and general wellbeing;

·        speak honestly with her partner about the kind of atmosphere they want to create together;

·        hold a simple aspiration for the child without trying to decide the child’s entire future;

·        approach conception consciously rather than only as something that happens by impulse or circumstance.

There are things she need not do.

·        She need not become frightened by every negative thought.

·        She need not feel guilty whenever she is tired or upset.

·        She need not try to manufacture a perfect emotional state.

·        She need not believe that every difficulty in a child’s life can be traced back to one moment.

Conscious preparation is not the same as control. It is a sincere effort to make the inner and outer conditions more harmonious, while leaving the deeper mystery of the soul to the Divine.

What, Then, Is Our Aspiration as Parents?

If the soul is already on its journey and the Divine is the master of that journey, what can our prayer be?  Not: “Give me the child I want.”  Not even: “Make my child extraordinary.”  Our prayer begins with ourselves:

“Mother, prepare me for the soul that may come to me. Help me to become more conscious, more sincere, more peaceful and more capable of loving without possessing. Let me not impose my dreams upon the child. Help me to become capable of accompanying the journey You have entrusted to me.”

This is the deeper meaning of a mother’s first education. While the child is being prepared for birth, a mother is also being prepared for a new stage in her own growth.

Conscious Conception, then, is not only about preparing for the child. It is also about allowing the coming of the child to become part of our own evolution.

A Quiet Conclusion

The Mother’s idea of a mother’s first education is so meaningful.

Before a mother prepares for a child, she can begin preparing herself.  Not by becoming perfect. Not by trying to control what the future child will be. But by slowly becoming more aware of what she carries within her.  Her thoughts. Her feelings. Her aspiration. The atmosphere she creates around herself.

Conception then becomes more than a physical event. It becomes a moment approached with greater consciousness.

The first preparation for a child is not something we buy or arrange.

It is the preparation of the woman who is going to receive the new life.

While she prepares for the birth of her child, she too is beginning a new journey.

 

Next Reflection

A Father’s Quiet Preparation